Southern Accents

Hubby is from the South. Oklahoma. Born in Texas.

He can't talk right.

I say that with tons of love. Honestly, I fell in love with him partly because of his accent. It was so cute and sweet and country.

As far as communication goes, we are fine when he is speaking in complete sentences. I am a teacher. I teach others about context clues. It goes a great way when you understand 90% of the words in a sentence. You can fill in the rest, usually.

But sometimes I still have to pretend I know what he is saying and to avoid argument I just say, Uh huh or Uhmm.

But let me take you back to the moment I realized it was even a problem.

I was working on my masters thesis. It was about spelling. (yes I know, a terrible topic and someday I might do a post on that whole topic)

I needed to retype this list of 300 frequently used words by 3rd graders. I am a quick typer. I can type while people talk pretty well. I knew if someone would read it to me, I would get done twice as fast. I asked him if he would and he, feeling sorry for me, agreed to help.

First off, the homonyms tripped me up, such as when/win (which I prounounce totally different but he doesn't)

But then there were words that just threw me for a loop and I knew they absolutely were NOT on the list of 3rd graders most frequently used words.

Off the top of my head right now I can't think of them. But I do remember it ended in a big fight and I did the remainder of the list myself. One might have been he said steal for still.

Then there are the phrases he says. They are really off the wall. And he has these phrases for EVERYTHING.

When it is raining hard - "Like a cow pissin on a flat rock."

When something is good - "Make you wanna stand up and slap your memaw"

Most of these have been passed down from his grandpa, who is long gone. But MY dad just can't even understand him half the time. He just gets this funny look on his face like hubby is speaking a different language. And really, he is.

But back to the accent.

Unfortunately after being married this long, I don't hear it so much now. Other people I know still can hear it, like my family. When he gets around his family it is more pronounced, but still not anything like I remember falling in love with. I just can't hear it and it makes me sad.

This past summer when we celebrated our anniversary, he surprised me by calling in to the radio station and requesting our wedding song to be played. They taped him. He was broadcast on the radio making the request. It was so sweet. But the most beautiful thing about it was that I HEARD his accent! Of course, I fell in love all over again!

But the fact remains, he still can't talk right. When I tell him this, he just calls me a Yankee.

Scaries

(This is my pet tarantula, Annie)

My poor sister. She is such a mess. And it is all my fault (and when she reads this she will say it is all true.) Weena, this cannot be used in a court of law as admission to any guilt whatsoever :) (hehe)

She is afraid. Of a lot. And that is all my fault.

It started when we were little. We had bunk beds. I made my hand look as spider/tarantula like as possible and walked it down the wall our beds were pushed up to. I was sure to scare her.

But she bit me!

I screamed and something like the following conversation ensued.

"What's going on in there? You two better get to bed." (mom from the living room)


"AHHHHH" (me still screaming and crying)


The light flips on. "Well what's wrong?"(uh oh, mom's come in)


"Weena bit me." (me)


"Why?" (mom)


"Well, I was trying to scare her. And pretended I was a spider." (me)


"Well good for her." (mom)


"But why would you bite a humongous spider???" (me) I just KNEW my hand looked exactly like a spider coming down the wall


In the ensueing years, there were many more times I scared her. But the best/worst was just INSANE.

We were home alone (I was probably like 14 and she was 10). I had been downstairs/basement family room watching TV and she was up in mom and dad's room watching TV. It was night and mom and dad had to leave for a meeting. But she didn't know I had stayed home.

But I didn't know she didn't know I had stayed home. (which is important later in the story as I try to redeem myself)

So, as this was normal for us, I snuck upstairs. I waited and waited in the kitchen for her to come in for a snack. I probably waited a good 20 minutes just inside the kitchen from the hallway. (I didn't have anything else to do!)

Finally, here she comes. I knew it was going to be good.

Before she flipped the kitchen switch, I jumped out and yelled really loud "AHHHHHHHHH"





The poor thing collapsed!





So then I KNEW I was gonna get it cause I had just killed my sister.

Then she started screaming. (oh good, she was alive)

I had to let her know it was me so I just hugged her and said, "It's just me" over and over as she rocked and cried.

So there it is. I have ruined all scary movies and books for her. She hears noises in her house. And it is all my fault.

Maybe I could sneak over there one night outside . . . hehehe :) Nah, she might bite me.

Map Quest and other Driving Directions

- going in circles!


I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have gotten driving directions on line and they are sooooo wrong. But I probably don't have to tell you, because you already know.

Today I had to have bloodwork done. The place that I went to before (about 2 minutes from the house) is no longer there. So I had to search for the next closest place. Not too bad, only about 4 miles away.

We looked on the map. We had an idea where it was but neither remembered ever seeing it.

We studied and memorized the directions (both of us).

No lie, the directions they gave were so hilarious! We could have made a left turn into the strip mall. But no. At that point, they had us make a RIGHT turn, then a left, then another left till we were back on the same street going the other way!!!!! And then make a right into the strip mall. Are you kidding????

But not being exactly sure where it was, WE FOLLOWED THOSE STUPID DIRECTIONS!

And to make matters worse, when we pulled in, we didn't see it anywhere!

But we found it. Tucked into the corner.

I have my blood taken. (Thank goodness they didn't want to check my blood pressure. I am sure they didn't even need that little elastic tie around my arm.) Then the lady says something about a urine sample. I am quite surprised. What on earth are they gonna do with that? My cholesterol does not show up in my pee does it??? If so, does that mean I can pee it out???

Anyway, we took the short route home. We knew where we were going.

Favorite Books

Sorry, not a funny post this time. Although it does have its moments.

I have been thinking about doing a book post. The idea started when the librarian at school sent out an all school email asking for everyone's favorite book so she could make it into a list for the kids and summer reading suggestions. I thought I would make my own list of books in different categories. Unfortunately, I am not so good with remembering authors.

Keep in mind, I own all my favorites. Especially when you get to the end of the list.

Picture Books - "Happy Birthday to You" and "Oh, The Places You Will Go" both by Dr. Seuss, "The Mysteries of Harris Burdick" and "The Story of May" (The 2 Dr. Seuss books hold very special places in my heart. The both have written letters to me in them from my mom. The first one was when I was 5. The second is from when I graduated and was 30. No, not from high school)

Children's Books - "The Giver", "Charlotte's Web", "The Lightning Thief"

Favorite Young Adult series - "Among the Hidden" et all

Long Books for the summer that you read till the last 100 pages and then put down a bit because you don't ever want them to end - "Pillars of the Earth", "Scarlett"

Books that made me cry like a baby - "The Education of Little Tree", "Stone Fox" (don't even bother to put mascara on)

Best Series - The Gunslinger series by Stephen King, The Xanth series by Piers Anthony, and the Hobbit/Rings Series by Tolkein (The Xanth series is most amazing because of all the puns and plays on words.)

Most Informative Book I ever read - "My Backyard" by Douglas Waitley

Best Teaching Book - "The First Days of School" by Wong and "Educating Esme" (I read parts of the first days of school every year before I go back)

Most Inspiring Book - "Writing Toward Home" and all the Ralph Fletcher writing series

Best Love books - all the ones by Leo Buscaglia

Most Used Books - "The PDR Family Guide", "Home Remedies for Dogs and Cats", "Reef Fish Identification Guide"

Best Scuba Adventures - all the "Dirk Pitt" novels by Clive Cussler

Book Guaranteed to make me fall asleep every time - "The Wonders of Algae" and any book I currently have to read for a class

Yes, I have a book about algae. What on earth does that say about me???

So you have to share your guaranteed "sleeper" book. I am starting to get close to the end of the algae book.

Making You Smile! (for 40 years)

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.kkyper.com/art/smile3.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.kkyper.com/art/smile.html&usg=__7lgnk-NWV284wjDLUYoN_H9jzGM=&h=563&w=750&sz=116&hl=en&start=18&sig2=2j6o-RS9bvq6YQapnS-q3w&um=1&tbnid=BOm7tvZclxPfEM:&tbnh=106&tbnw=141&ei=ZNt_SbqBMpLSMfDOkdsF&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dmouth%2Blips%2Bsmile%2B3%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Dactive%26client%3Dsafari%26rls%3Den%26sa%3DN

this is insane. check out the link above if you want a smile

HA HA HA talk about torture

sorry, doing this post on the mac and there is no button to make a link. you have to cut and paste

Winter Wackiness

I'm back to my normal self.

And wondering what to write about.

I told hubby that later around 5:15 to 5:30 we would pull up chairs to the big window out front and watch people try to make it up our street hill (with all the snow and ice out there)as they head home or head out to work. It just might prove to be the highlight of the day!

I went around an tromped about in the snow in the backyard. With my wedding dress. Taking pictures of it in the snow on the ground. I have a few that might work out okay (see above) but the sky was SO overcast today.

Here is the conversation I imagine took place as my neighbors watched out their back windows.

"Honey, come see this. You aren't going to believe it. What is she doing?"

"What IS she doing?"

"What's that she's got? Is that a dress? Is that a WEDDING dress?"

"Well, it looks like it. Kinda hard to tell with all the snow."

"It looks like she is taking pictures of it. Do you think she is taking pictures to sell it on ebay?"

"I don't know. That's the strangest thing. Why wouldn't she just do it inside? Like lay it out on the bed?"

"Look, she just threw it into the bushes. It's gonna get all snagged. I don't think she is trying to sell it."

"Well then what on earth is she doing?"

"Well, she was off today. Maybe she is doing drugs or drinking."

"Maybe she is mad, like angry. Or maybe mad, like crazy."

"She sure is weird. Now she threw it on the ground. I wonder if she will walk on it."

"No, doesn't look like it. She just keeps taking pictures."

"Maybe we should move."

"But they seem so harmless when we talk with them."

I'm Soo Happy (Ha)

There are quite a few things I would like to blog about tonight and I can't seem to pick just one. They all seem so equally important.

1. It's snowing tonight and it looks like it might be a doozy of a storm! Which means a possible snow day. But wait! Someone is scheduled to go to a technology conference tomorrow, already had a sub lined up, had to write lesson plans, and guess what? The conference IS NOT going to be cancelled. I just can't even believe my luck. But they did send an email stating to only go if we could go safely. It really might not be safe for any one to come in contact with me on a snow day that I have to work, so does that count????

On the brighter side of the storm, when I came into my neighborhood subdivision tonight (which was about 6pm 'cause I was at a class), it looked so clean and nice and beautiful. The main entrance road is a snow route. All cars were lined up neat and orderly in their driveways. And they all fit. Now why can't we have this neatness every day folks??? (yes, that was the bright side - I am pretty cranky tonight, which leads to other things, or stems from other things).

2. So I call my hubby today from work to make sure about when I have to go to the doctor. Of course he can't find the information/giant size paper. I tell him "Look in the bill bin." I know that it is there. He says he can't find it. I know it is there but I say, "Well, look NEXT to the bin. Maybe it got pushed out." I have been know to be wrong on occassion. "No, it's not there."

I said, "Well look on all the shelves where the bin is (six little ones, one for bread, one for a landline phone, one for the address book, 1 for the bill bin, 2 for decorations)." "Nope." (and these replies are coming as fast as I can explain where to look, so it REALLY doesn't seem like he is even looking. So I grit my teeth and say, "Did you look in the bill bin?" "Yes, " (very adamantly). "Well is it on the fridge under a magnet?" "NO" "Okay fine."

How hard is it to find a paper??? I figured I would find it when I got home and went ahead and scheduled the day off for when I suspected it was. (which will be number 3 in this list of grievances)

So, I call him as I leave work/school on my way to class. Of course he found it. It was da da da dah - in the bill bin. I guarantee if it would have had boobs, he would have seen it!

So he asks me how I'm doing. And I go in to rant #3 (see below). I finish and he is just silent. I said, "Well, you asked."

3. The process for getting a day off is quite odd. My contract has an unlimited number of sick days, with being out 5 days in a row requiring a doctor note of some kind. I have 3 personal days for what I choose to use them for. Honestly, I have never used all my personal days. Well, maybe one year. The most I have been off while sick has been 2 and that was a few years ago. I had 1 1/2 sick days so far this year (doctor appointments are considered sick days).

What I am trying to say is, I always go to work. Even when I really shouldn't because believe it or not, it is easier to come to school sick than to be sick and have to make sub plans from home and deal with the aftermath after you get back. Now that you have the background . . .

I grab this blue form and say to the secretary, "I don't really get the whole procedure of what to do first, but I put it in workforce (the official computer way they keep track) and I'm gonna fill out this sub request." Well, it just so happens that the "boss" was right there. He pipes up, "Well, you have to ask, then do workforce, then get the sub request." (Now realize, I had just gotten off the phone with hubby the first time when he couldn't find the paper, so I am not too keen on men at this moment.)

I said, "Ask??? I'm not asking. YOU have to work around the doctor." (I think he knew I was a little, well, hmm, upset?) Honestly, I am 40 years old, I work my ass off, and he's saying I gotta ASK to be off to go to the doctor?????? When I would much rather not even go???????? I just turned the form in. I had to get out before I exploded.

So this is where I am right now. I think I might have gotten you there so you know what's up. So, do YOU think it is safe for me to come in contact with others tomorrow? :) Maybe I should just wear a shirt that says BACK OFF or something of the sort. Lovely attire for a conference. Make a real good impression.