My Secret

Okay. I guess it's time to tell. Yes, I can teleport myself.

See, the thing is, I have a 50 minute plan time every day. I can get the kids down to their special class (gym, music, art) and get back to my room immediately to have my entire 50 minutes. And then when time is up, I miraculously appear at the door without wasting any of my plan time walking.

My 30 minute lunch? Easy. I just teleport myself from dropping the kids off at their lunch straight to my lunch in the teacher lounge. Then when the 30 minutes are up, I teleport myself to the playground at the exact moment my 30 minutes are up, because the recess duty monitors are ready to come in.

All right. I guess you aren't buying it (well, at least I hope you aren't). It isn't true. I still have to walk like normal people. We have a sprawling building. Quite large, with not a lot of direct routes.

Herein lies the problem. I am supposed to have 30 minutes for lunch. But by the time all the kids get dropped off and I get to the teacher lunch room, 4 minutes have passed (that's if no one stops me to tell me anything). Then I have to wait in a line in the lunchroom to warm my food in the microwave. (yes, really) So, you figure another 4 minutes.

So MY lunch is supposed to start at exactly 11:55. So does the students' lunch. Mine really starts at 12:03 (if I don't go to the bathroom). At the end of the 30 minutes I have to be on the playground to take over (12:25).

This means that in order to arrive on time, I have to go drop off my lunch box in the room and pick up my coat (no, I cannot take my lunchbox to the playground - I would look like a dork standing there with it out on the playground). This process takes AT LEAST 5 minutes (or more when it is really cold out and I have to bundle up).

So cut another 5 minutes off my lunch time. That means that my "time to eat" is a MAXIMUM of 17 minutes. (If no one needs me to stop and talk about a student, I don't need to go to the bathroom, etc., which is really rare if it all goes as laid out in the above scenario.)

17 minutes is not long enough. That's insane!

Tomorrow try cutting your lunch time down to exactly 30 minutes. Just to give it a try.

If the upside to this was loosing weight, I probably wouldn't be so crazy about this. But from where I am, I don't see any upside at all.

How Does It Happen?

How on earth, with two people, does a bathroom closet get so, well, disheveled???

I am sure I am to blame, and I say two people but the only thing he does is get a bath towel out of it. Unless he is bleeding because of an accident and then he has to root and destroy everything looking for a large enough bandaid and some type of antiseptic. Which gets me to thinking.

This post was intended to be about cleaning out the closet (which I did yesterday) but let's go back to the bleeding because of an accident thing.

Time number 1 - about a week before our wedding he went out for a bachelor party. When he returned I was already asleep but he came in and sat on the bed and the first words out of his mouth were, "Now don't freak out." It must have been about 3am. So, of course, I start to freak out even though it is dark, asking what is wrong.

It seems he had been digging in his truck toolbox getting a jacket or something equally less important, and the lid had fallen, right onto his nose. It was gashed and bloody, and it looked like the skin had been scraped off the bridge. After that the only thing I remember thinking was how awful he would look in our wedding pictures! Ahh, true love. :) Needless to say, he got the truck toolbox out and hasn't used it since.

Time number 2 - It was early in the spring and we had been talking about removing some limbs from a tree (I am sure you see where this is headed.) He got up early, which for him is about 4:30 (what a nut) and went outside with his brand new sharp shiny handsaw specifically designed to cut limbs. He climbed the ladder as high as it would go and proceeded to climb the tree, tying himself off. He couldn't get the right angle for the limb. Well, for the tree limb. Anyway, it ended up the saw came down onto his opposite forearm and cut him on that vein that runs on the top. Now keep in mind, I am sleeping soundly, unaware he had even planned to do this.

So now he is in a pickle. He is bleeding profusely and worried he won't even make it down the ladder. He got down, took his shirt off to cover it, ran to the back deck door, and then realized it was locked - he hadn't gone out that door.

As he bounded down the deck stairs, he broke through the second to last step. His speed and bounding cracked it and he fell through and scraped his shin up really bad. He ran to the basement door and up the stairs to the bedroom. He walks in and says, "Baby, I think I need your help," loud enough to wake me.

What a way to get woken up. He's got blood all over and he's about greenish white.

I have to say, honestly, he is really not prone to accidents like I am. He is very careful and thoughtful. But accidents happen to even the best of us.

Get 'Er Done

photo courtesy of cohdra @ morguefile.com

Today.

I planned for it.

I laid it all out.

I was going to get so much accomplished.

HA HA HA HA HA!

Not one thing went the way I planned.

And I ended up getting absolutely nothing done on my list.

Now, that is not to say that nothing got accomplished. I had two very productive meetings. My students were happy. I got some editing done while they anxiously awaited the return of their stories.

But none of that was on my list.

I took a class about two years ago that was focused on the type of people we are and how we are all different. I read a book (which the title escapes me at the moment). We discussed it. I learned that I am . . . an achiever. I love lists. I make them all the time. The accomplishement I feel when I cross off "Clean toilet" is beyond measure. And it has nothing to do with the toilet. I GOT TO CROSS SOMETHING OFF THE LIST!

My husband teases me about my lists, among other things. Therefore, some of them become mental lists so no one can see them.

But today was a written list and not one thing was crossed off. So despite everything, I don't feel as well as I should.

Now, I have to admit. Sometimes I get sidetracked from my lists and do something important and productive that is not on the list. I am guilty of writing it on the list just so I can cross it off. I am not ashamed to admit it. I'll bet someone else is laughing because they do it to. Sorry to have to tell you this but YOU ARE AN ACHIEVER! :0 And that crossing of just feels so good.

I have been accused by various family members that I don't know how to relax. It is relaxing to me to get something done. That is how I am wired. My husband lovingly refers to me as "The Overachiever."

I just don't see anything wrong with doing it all. And I will leave you with a list from this past summer.

1. Lay out

2. Clean pool

3. Check email

4. Finish book

5. Go to karate

See???? I do know how to relax!