White Shirts, Stains, and Tide Pens

I'm going to mesh two posts together. Well, maybe three. The first thought is the quest for the perfect white shirt. Second is food. And the third is, well, read on.

I probably have 30 white shirts. All in search of the perfect one. It needs to fit well, be comfortable, not stain under the arms, be washable and dryable, be either a scoop or v neck, cool and warm at the same time, and not patterned or mixed with other colors.

I am still looking. I am a sucker for white shirts. My newest closest to perfect white shirt is a short sleeve T by Ralph Lauren. It has lace inside the scoop neck. It fits well and is comfy.

Now why I have and want white shirts is beyond me. I can't wear white. Well, I can wear it but I can't keep it clean. Take for example today. I was wearing a white ribbed turtleneck. And carrying a stack of papers. With a lunch tray of pizza on top.

I didn't trip, fall or spill. But it still ended up all over me as it wedged up underneath my, well, you know. (Truly not the best place to get a spot while you are at work.)

This is nothing new. That is why I own 4 Tide pens. Everyone knows at work if they get a spot, come to me cause I have a pen to fix it. I keep one in my desk, one in my purse, one in my car, and then I have an extra here at home.

I like them. They work. I am messy. But they STINK! like baby puke. So it is always a real dilema. Do I want to stink or be unstained? I usually opt for the stink. If I walk fast enough, people will think it is someone else or it came from somewhere else. If I am stained, they know it is on me.

I am regularly doing the following: eating a hotdog with mustard and it goes all over me (wearing a white shirt), eating a sandwich of bologna and overspilling ketchup onto me (and my white shirt), eating BBQ and dripping BBQ sauce down the front (of my white shirt).

This past spring when I came home with white pants my hubby couldn't even believe it. He said, "That isn't going to last." He knows me so well.

As a side note, I refuse to eat in my gi. (white karate outfit) I also have a white bikini and a white summer suit. I love them both too. But the wearing of them also comes with major restrictions.

So I love wearing white, but can't find the perfect shirt. Maybe because they haven't made a stain-resistant one. Or an unstinky Tide pen.

LICE!!!! No, Not Really

I was so upset this afternoon when I came home. I had on my brand new brown tights, which I just love. I had worn a camel colored microsuede skirt (the kind that is wash and wear, oh so soft, and comfortable). Well, the two didn't mix well.

When I got home to change into my lounge around clothes, my tights had lice. Well, it wasn't really lice. It was miniature microsuede balls embedded into my dark brown tights. The moving and wear had rub the skirt and gotten little balls attached to my tights.

Is this insane???

So I tried the lint remover (the brush kind AND the sticky roller kind). Neither worked. These things were embedded and not coming out. I asked my husband to help.

He took a few little pulls at the balls and said, "These things are cheap. I would just trash them."

But that wasn't the point. I had just gotten these tights and I love the way they feel and love the color.

So I said, "Give me a glass of wine. I'm in for a long night."


45 minutes later . . .

Well, they look a little better. I guess a lot better. Or maybe it is just the wine talking/wine goggles. Hopefully the rest will come out in the wash (yeah, right). But at least I got most of them off.

This is just another day in my wacky life.

Bras

photo courtesy of nasirkhan @ morguefile.com

It took me 27 years to find the perfect bra.

That's a long darn time. And I have to say that when I found it, I bought 8 of them. They are beginning to wear out. I think I might cry.

They are nothing fancy or expensive. They are made by Bill Blass. You will never believe where I found them. Dollar General. Yep. Forget Victoria's Secret, Macy's, JC Penny, etc. The most perfect bra ever lives at Dollar General and they cost $5 a piece.

They only come in white, but that's okay because they are perfect. (and I wear tons of white shirts - which is a whole nother blog in itself - the quest for the perfect white top)

With these bras I never have seam lines show (or anything else for that matter). The straps are adjustable and don't come off in the wash. They are preformed, so they look like they are full even when laying on the bed. They are low cut in front so I can wear any shirt I want and not worry about it showing. They have three dual hook sections in back (which is great around Thanksgiving time as I grow!) And they always look nice.

It's hard to find the perfect bra. I am hoping Dollar General still has them as it is time to get more. Otherwise I might just wear them until they become rags. And then I would probably still wear them!

Of course, my husband is now laughing hysterically as he just read my blog. He thinks I am nuts. He doesn't get how important the perfect bra is. But us girls know. ;)

photo courtesy of nasirkhan at morguefile.com

Jeans

photo courtesy of cardenio @ morguefile.com
I don't care what everyone else says. Jeans are not warm.

Today was REALLY cold - like 10. It might have gotten up to 18. When I walked outside at noon for about 5 minutes, I thought my jean legs had frozen solid. It's almost like they trap the cold air in after allowing it to float up from the ground.

Also, most jeans are not flattering. Give me a cute little skirt any day. For jeans to really look good, they should not be purchased (or even made) above a size 2.
The low jeans have a bulge over the waistband. The high jeans cut off your circulation from the waist down, make you miserable if you eat, and make you look like your waist is just below your boobs. Now that's attractive.

Jeans are not comfortable. (unless you get the grandma elastic waist ones, and then of course, they are not fashionable) You can't bend your legs. If you wear low riders you spend the day pulling them up or else you look like a plumber. Not to mention, some feel just like your wearing a thong bikini. Yikes!

Over the years I have had my share of jeans. But I don't think I have ever found a pair to like, much less love. Favorite jeans? That would be the ones that hurt the least, look the best (which isn't saying much) and don't make me look like my grandma. I haven't found that pair yet.
Give me a bikini any day. Way more comfortable.

photo courtesty of cardenio at morguefile.com

What Do They Really Mean?

How many ways can you say "You look like crap?"
My husband has become excellent at this.

Various comments he has said -

"I thought you were going to do your hair?" Well, I had!
"Does that go?" Yes, the two different patterns are the same colors.
"Are you wearing that?" It's a little late now as I am already walking out the door!

And the new one this morning -
"That doesn't really look like you."

I have to hand it to him. He is becoming more and more creative and kind the longer we are married.

So this morning I responded, "So basically what you are saying is that I look like crap."
He didn't say a word.