Having Gas

Sorry, there is no appropriate picture for this.

I am a teacher. I teach 4th grade. They are giggly at fourth grade. Sometimes they need to be reminded to be nice in fourth grade.

Today I had gas. E gad. No lie. Now, having gas is one thing. But for a teacher to have gas is quite another.

Imagine giving a presentation and having gas.
Now imagine giving a presentation while you are turned around with your bottom facing the audience.
Now imagine giving a presentation while you are turned around with your bottom facing the audience, who are a bunch of short people in short chairs.

See how bad it is?

At the beginning of the year, I have the fart talk with my kids. It's fun, it breaks the ice, and lets them know I am human. This is how the fart talk goes (I've done it for 10 years)-

"Okay folks. We need to talk about something. Raise your hand if you have never in your entire life had gas or burped. (no one does but they are all shocked and surprised and on the verge of giggling). See, everyone has done it. It is a natural part of life. We can't get around it. And sometimes it just comes out. And sometimes it comes out at a really bad time. Am I right? (I get lots of giggles and yeahs and nods)

Now I want you to remember one time when one came out and it was a really bad time. How did that make you feel? (sometimes someone will raise a hand and say embarrassed but sometimes not) You were embarrassed and maybe other people laughed at you, which made you feel worse, right? But could you help it? You didn't do it on purpose.

The thing is, it is a natural part of life. We all do it. And while we would hope no one would hear it, sometimes it just comes out and we can't help it.

Now in this class, we don't want anyone to feel bad. Especially for something that was an accident. SO, the rule in the class is this. If you have gas or burp, the most polite thing to do is say excuse me as loud as the fart or burp was. (This really gets them laughing because I said fart.) And the most polite thing for people around you to do is not laugh, because you couldn't help it."

Honestly, this has worked wonders in my class. I have to say it is one of my most favorite "discussions" at the beginning of the school year. Farts fly and burps are let out at really odd times, and we just keep going. No one dies of embarrassment.

Well, except for the teacher. :)

Bras

photo courtesy of nasirkhan @ morguefile.com

It took me 27 years to find the perfect bra.

That's a long darn time. And I have to say that when I found it, I bought 8 of them. They are beginning to wear out. I think I might cry.

They are nothing fancy or expensive. They are made by Bill Blass. You will never believe where I found them. Dollar General. Yep. Forget Victoria's Secret, Macy's, JC Penny, etc. The most perfect bra ever lives at Dollar General and they cost $5 a piece.

They only come in white, but that's okay because they are perfect. (and I wear tons of white shirts - which is a whole nother blog in itself - the quest for the perfect white top)

With these bras I never have seam lines show (or anything else for that matter). The straps are adjustable and don't come off in the wash. They are preformed, so they look like they are full even when laying on the bed. They are low cut in front so I can wear any shirt I want and not worry about it showing. They have three dual hook sections in back (which is great around Thanksgiving time as I grow!) And they always look nice.

It's hard to find the perfect bra. I am hoping Dollar General still has them as it is time to get more. Otherwise I might just wear them until they become rags. And then I would probably still wear them!

Of course, my husband is now laughing hysterically as he just read my blog. He thinks I am nuts. He doesn't get how important the perfect bra is. But us girls know. ;)

photo courtesy of nasirkhan at morguefile.com